Hello once again, loyal reader.
Boy, is it dusty around these parts of this blog. It has been a while, hasn't it? Glad to see you have found your way back safe and sound. Come - we must huddle around these warm words as they come still fresh from the keyboard. But hurry! Who knows how long this harvest will last, before we must brace for yet another hibernation during the next famine of blog entries?
Since I'm currently on holiday, I have had the luxury of some downtime to bring back some life to this flaccid blog of mine. They say it happens to all bloggers at some point, that it's not a big deal, and that every reader has had a blogger go through this type of predicament. I have to say, this lack of vitality has certainly left me feeling rather embarrassed and ashamed. Maybe there's a pill for just this type of problem.
Having now spent a jam-packed week of catch-ups with friends, I've been thinking a lot about how friendships work for adults. For me, it takes that level of conscientious thought to really process something like that. They say you shouldn't fix what isn't broken, and I certainly haven't had any reason to question the relationship I share with my friends. But if that's the case, when do you see improvement if you don't ever ask for more?
Being at school has taken up such a big part of my life. From kindergarten through to university, it has, for better or worse, taken up a lot of my waking moments (and sleeping ones too, if we're going to count lectures). And almost all my closest friends I have met throughout these school years. But that's pretty much a given for most people I would think. When you're stuck and confined within certain walls, the tightest of friendships form. The only better breeding place for friendships than at schools are either in the army or in prison: take your pick.
However, I'm no longer in school, and neither are my friends. As we've all come to discover at our own pace, working life is very, very different indeed. Simply put, it's a lot harder to see each other. Free time is scarce, and even when it comes by, trying to fight fatigue is a whole other hurdle. You really have to make that extra effort to see one another, even if just to catch up.
I suppose I have a rather skewed perception. My best friends aren't even in the same country as me, let alone the same city. Yet undoubtedly, they are still my best friends. With them, it is by no casual effort that we get to spend some time together, whether that's on the phone, online, or (when all the planets align) in person. But it never really feels like an effort either. I don't necessarily agree that just because we are such close friends, that it means we don't need to try to stay as such. In fact, it takes a lot of proactive endeavour. It's rather a point of feeling that they're worth it. Differing time zones can be an irritating annoyance, but a few early mornings or a couple of late nights are honestly negligible. Spending time with family is very important indeed (something I will never forego), and it's what the holiday seasons are for, but to me, these people are a part of my family. And handwritten letters and planned gatherings might be nice, but for the most part, a simple text will suffice to let someone know you're thinking of them. With whatever excuse life might provide, there's always a way around it if you want it badly enough. You make the sacrifices, you adapt to the circumstances, and you just make it happen. Because if they're not worth the effort, then who is?
I won't sit here and lie and say that I don't miss the ease of being friends at school. They're never that far away, and for the most part, are looking for a distraction from the mundanity of school work. But since then, I've learnt that even though it takes that extra effort, if these people are meant to be in my life, then we'll make it happen from either end. I am the grumpiest person to wake, but I will always lend a willing ear at any time of night. There are no confessions too guilty or too pathetic that would ever cause me to pass judgement on. I will never pretend to know that things will be okay, but I can promise I'll be around when they're not. And I am only able to do these things because I know, in absolute security, that my friends will do no less for me, no questions asked.
Even though I've had these things on my mind (and this post in the drafts section) for a while, I feel that my holiday back home has really made me think twice about this. We all very quickly realised the drastic social and financial differences between work life and school life, but having to actually make an effort to keep friends? Not always so obvious.
The truth is, yes, it gets harder to maintain close friendships. But never forget that there's someone at the other end willing to try just as hard as you will. I am in no way the perfect friend, and I hope that I can rid myself of the bad habits that distances myself from my friends. Whether by conscious thought or by natural effort, I want to put more in. If these people are strange enough to want me around in their lives, I'm going to make damn well sure that I try my best to earn that place - even though I know they'd never ask of that from me.
So from me to you, I hope that the little annoyances in working life don't get in the way of the solid foundations in friends you've formed throughout your school years. Because I'll be damned if now isn't the stage in our lives we need them the most.
