This is a classic philosophical riddle that questions perception and the knowledge of reality. I didn't know this at first, but this little thought experiment actually probes into much bigger discussions, like the knowledge of the unobserved world, and the difference between sensation and reality, amongst other considerations in areas of philosophy and religious perspectives (I did a bit of quick research - I guess you can say I've slightly improved). But it is this particular thought that has piqued my interest:
"Can something exist without being perceived?"
I'm not even going to try and skim the philosophical considerations of the subject matter, but I am intrigued in its application to relationships (as you may have predicted from my recent blog topics). So, if I possess a certain feeling towards another, does it really exist without that person ever experiencing it with me?
I want to narrow it down to a very personal emotion, such as love - for ease of discussion, if anything. If I love someone, but never express it to that person, does it even affect our relationship? Even if it's stated as an absolute fact ("hey, by the way, he really loves you"), but neither my actions nor my words exhibit this emotion, do I actually love that person? Or does that emotion never exist to begin with if it's not something received, and instead, all that is happening is that I want to love that person?
The titular riddle can be solved pretty straightforwardly: obviously, if a tree falls, it still makes a sound, regardless of anyone's presence (or lack of). Science dictates that the soundwaves are created. But it is the separation of the actual sound occurring and the perception of that sound that brings up the question: what is to say it exists if the existence itself is unknown?
I'll admit I've rather forcefully applied this to a relationship context, and quite honestly, I don't know the answer. To me, relationships are not outward projectiles like sound; you can't have a relationship on your own (I've tried - it doesn't work). Relationships are bonds that connect people. So if you state that you have a feeling that alters or defines that interpersonal link, it cannot exist without being perceived by the other.
So what about hidden feelings that you don't express, like a secret crush? In my opinion, you aren't truly fond of someone without any expression of it. But even those little unappreciated words of kindness and subtle acts of generosity count towards that expression. She might not be fully aware of your crush, but she will receive those words and actions - and the subsequent feeling.
Does this also apply to presumed feelings? I am my parents' child, so does that mean I need not do anything to express that inherent love? What if I am already someone's spouse? Does that automatically mean that I no longer need to prove or display my affection? Not in my mind.
As for inconsistent expressions: say, you love someone, but you do something that hurts that person - like betrayal, an undeniably contrary expression to love - do you really still love that person? Because I would argue that in that context, saying "I love you" is just a farce - unless, of course, your following expressions go on to signal a change.
I suppose I'm not the only one that is torn. In metaphysics, opinion is split as to what the true answer to the riddle is: substance theory dictates that a substance is distinct from its properties, which means whatever the perceptions of the object may be, it will not affect the actual existence of said object; bundle theory on the other hand, dictates that an object is merely its sense data, therefore an object's existence is based solely on it being sensed by others. So when it comes to relationships, I guess some will think that love can exist without the object of adoration knowing, and others will argue that you don't love someone unless you can show it.
I'm way over my head now. But even if you don't agree with me, or just think I'm talking jibberish, think about when the last time was you expressed your feelings to those you love. You can tell me all day about how you love your parents and how they mean the world to you, but what does it really mean if you don't show it to them? You can pine over that girl or guy every waking moment, but that person is clueless and will never feel that love if you don't find a way to express it. So go out there, and let them hear you fall.
Perhaps I've forced the comparison a bit too much. After all, we're not trees. I'll just leave you with this interpretation instead:
"If a man speaks in a forest and no woman is around to hear it, is he still wrong?"
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