Locked Out

I'm pretty forgetful. I mean, my memory's not terrible, but at the same time, it's not uncommon for me to forget the odd name or chore. Sometimes I'll say the same thing repeatedly, simply because I can't recall if I had mentioned it before or not. I don't mean to, really. And it doesn't mean I don't care about that person or thing in particular. My brain just isn't very good at its job. So I guess it's rather surprising that after living on my own for 15 months, today is the first time I've forgotten my keys and locked myself out.

I'm currently sitting in a McDonald's next to my house. You'd normally never catch me even near one of these establishments (I wouldn't survive the self-imposed dietary guilt), but you know: desperate times call for desperate measures. And it's also raining and windy out; I had to seek shelter.

Thankfully, my phone's at 71%, and I'm getting some good signal here. They're playing Michael Bublé Christmas tunes - I approve. With a hot choc at hand, I'm sat down alone and beginning to wonder what I can do to burn half an hour before my brother gets back. 

Normally, when I do something this stupid, I beat myself up over it. I put myself through a lot of unnecessary hell sometimes, because I feel like I deserve it. "Well done, Einstein. You've really done it this time". But tonight, I'm surprisingly calm. Yes, I gave myself a mental facepalm, but at least I didn't torture myself over something as benign and irrelevant as locking myself out.

I guess I just don't like making stupid mistakes. As much as I try to avoid them (poor memory-related or not), no amount of endless self-nagging stops me from falling into these ditches. I just make stupid decisions, in varying aspects of my life. It's like I'm almost programmed to make these mistakes. But right now, all I can say is: "meh".

I'm told I overthink and worry too much. I guess these kind of moments is when that would kick in usually. But an important lesson I learnt a while ago is that you have to pick your battles. Ultimately, I'm human, just like everybody else. Some things are worth panicking, worrying and pulling your hair out for. This is not one of them. If you let every little thing get to you, come the time life throws the big stuff at you, you won't be able to cope. You'll have to go the next level of self-loathing, and honestly, I've had enough of that as is.

So instead of worrying my little head off, I'm just going to enjoy this hot choc and blog about my stupidity on my phone.

Besides, my brother should be back any moment now. Thanks for sharing this idiotic moment with me, Internet.