Before the well wishes come flying in (my imaginary readers are very vocal), it's not my birthday just yet. In fact, I'm already twenty-two (no lie - just ask Taylor). This is really just a re-telling of something that happened to me last year. That might sound terribly uncreative, but I'm hoping there's value for my readers in what I'm about to write. But what would you know? You're imaginary.
What I'm referring to when I say I "turned twenty-two" is when I made my resolutions just under a year ago. But not on my own birthday, nor on New Year's Day. I just woke up one random day in October... and decided to live life differently. I've never thought chapter-ending moments in life would occur so snappily, but for me, this one time, it did. But to be honest, looking back, this was probably the culmination of almost three years' worth of thought and consideration.
A lot of my current personal philosophies are based around those resolutions, which have led me (physically, mentally and emotionally) to where I am now - even to the extent of me writing this blog post right this moment. I'm sure many of them will become the topics of currently-imaginary-but-soon-to-be blog posts (I guess in that sense, you will be able to relate to them) - whether you like it or not! I'm kidding, of course. Please like me and please don't stop reading.
If I dare say so myself, I'm rather proud of how far I've gotten in these eleven months - just from that one morning of deciding to get behind the steering wheel in my head. And for me, that was very much the crux of everything that was to follow: taking back control. I won't bore you with the details (I'm sure you have imaginary parties to get to), but it was basically akin to being in the driver seat finally after sitting aside for so long. Instead of just riding along as the car goes on its way, now I can (or rather, allow myself to) make the turns I want to, knowing that it was my own foot on the pedal, propelling me forward. And it felt good.
And so it was that day in October that I decided to turn twenty-two, even though my actual twenty-second birthday was the following March. And now, just about a month away from the anniversary, I've begun to think that this should be more of a thing.
Birthdays happen to you whether you do something about it or not. New Year's the same. Effectively, you earn your birthday by surviving 365 days, and, thankfully, that's a relatively achievable objective for most of us at this age. But whether you do something awesome for a year, or get absolutely nowhere in that same time, you still get your birthday - and you still turn a year older, along with the gravity that is associated with that moment. Don't get me wrong, though; I love birthdays. I love the idea of celebrating a person and their growth over the course of one year, and I think we could all take a little time and effort out of our day to appreciate and be grateful for someone on their one dedicated special day. And definitely don't think for even a second that I'm not celebrating my actual twenty-third birthday in March (bring presents, everybody). But by having your birthday set on a specific date, by saying you automatically become a year older (and everything that comes with it) because you simply surpassed that day, just doesn't quite feel like you've consciously made the decision to grow up. It just sort of happened to you.
When I made my resolutions, I felt a change within me. In fact, I knew things were about to change because I was about to make them happen (or at the very least, try). And it was then that I decided, at that moment, I was going to turn twenty-two. I was going to mature to my next age, and all that that should entail. Goodbye, twenty-one-year-old me.
So what's this to you? Probably nothing. But perhaps a thought to consider: when was the last time you turned a year older? Was it on your birthday? I hope this story of mine might help you realise that it doesn't necessarily have to be your birthday to choose to be more mature, to choose to make resolutions, or to choose to turn a year older. Today could be your next birthday.
As it nears the anniversary of my coming of age last October, ironically, I'm actually not going to celebrate it. That would effectively defeat the purpose of this entire post. Instead, I will be celebrating when I have achieved those goals I have set for myself, and become the version of me that I want to be. But since I've set both tangible and more continuous ones, I think for now, I'm just going to have a little birthday party for myself in my head - for reaching some of my goals, for being on track for others, for being ready to start the rest, and for finishing this blog post.
There's cake for everyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment